You Can’t Say You Can’t Play, by Vivien Gussin Paley (1992)

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Area: Ethics, Literature/Language Arts
Grade Level: Middle School, Primary/Elementary School
Topics: childhood, friendship
Estimated Time Necessary: One to two hours (can be over several class sessions)

Lesson Plan

Objectives:
Exploring friendship and community
Students will explore the meaning of friendship and the obligations of being part of a community, and will discuss the purpose of community rules.

In You Can’t Say You Can’t Play, MacArthur Prize-winning educator Vivien Paley describes her introduction of a new rule — “You can’t say you can’t play” — in her kindergarten classroom. The book raises questions about friendship, exclusion and inclusion, and what is necessary for a rule to be a good one.

Discussion Questions

RULES

  • What do you think of the rule, “You can’t say you can’t play”?
  • What rules should a classroom have?
  • What rules should we have in life?
  • Do communities need rules in order to function successfully?
  • If you had to make just one rule for your classroom, what would it be and why?

FRIENDSHIP/INCLUSION AND EXCLUSION

  • What does it mean to be a friend?
  • How should you treat people who are not your friends?
  • Can we be friends with anyone?
  • Is it okay for friends to exclude others?
  • Is it okay for any groups of people to exclude any others?
  • Can you require people to include everyone?
  • If you are part of a community (such as a classroom), how should you be required to treat the other community members?
  • What would a world in which “you can’t say you can’t play” look like?

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